American Born Courageous Desi

Mental Health Therapists are well versed in Trump-anxiety: the worries, fears, ruminating thoughts, hyperarousal, pain, and insomnia that plagued majority of the country during the 2016 campaign. We saw it in our clients, discussed it with peers, and likely went home and experienced the same symptoms. As a woman of color, a child of immigrants, raised in a middle income home, a clinical social worker educated in social justice, feminist theory, human development, trauma, and oppression, I felt a deep sense of concern with where this country was heading. Fast forward a few months to November 2016, when Trump-anxiety turned to Trump-depression, a manifestation of our grief, loss, and traumatic stress. Trump supporters enjoyed mocking this experience, after all, this is  the party who proudly encourages "political incorrectness," uses slogans such as "F#ck Feelings" and continues to name-call social justice activists things such as "snowflakes" and "so

May begins an important month of awareness building and educating in the mental health field. May is not only Mental Health Awareness Month, but also a month of awareness focused on underserved subgroups within our field, such as children's mental health, maternal mental health. Asian American/Pacific Islander Heritage month is also celebrated in May. The intersection this awareness-building feels like a call to action, as it clearly reflects the intersection of my professional and personal interests. Regardless of the age or stage, a common issue presented in Asian American immigrant families in therapy is the need for belonging, acceptance, and connection. Belonging and acceptance within the family system and within the larger community. Belonging and acceptance is a need whether you are a new mom overwhelmed with the demands of a newborn baby and the subsequent transition in your identity; or an adolescent overwhelmed with the demands of school, friends, immigrant parents, rac

Last night I planned to attend a PTA meeting, a place where I embrace my son's elementary school, embrace the community of parents and teachers who help raise my son and his peers. Instead I had a sudden change in plans. That morning I received an email from a mother of my son's classmate. Her newborn baby passed away after 37 hours of living and breathing in her parent's arms. I felt heartbroken and devastated for the parents and their two living young sons. This mother had told me months ago that her daughter in utero had a rare medical condition and would not survive a full day after birth. So I was not shocked to receive the baby's obituary and funeral information, but nevertheless, still deeply saddened by their loss and struck by the uncertainty of life and death. I attended the visitation last night and entered their home with a large bag of hot meals for the family. The grieving mother held her deceased daughter's tiny body in her arms as spiritual songs w

Desis for Progress, a nonprofit committed to building a stronger South Asian community, published my article "Raising Hope" Please view link here: https://medium.com/@desisforprogress/raising-hope-9df93fbb945b

We live. We love. We lose. And somewhere in between, we learn. We learn to lose. We learn to love. We learn to live. Grieving as the child of immigrants was a unique experience in some ways. We grieve deaths from the other side of the globe, unable to say goodbye to the deceased, attend services, and perform rituals meant to help us heal collectively. Grieving a family relative we rarely saw, barely knew, but still experienced a deep sense of loss to the family unit. Immigration itself is a journey in learning to cope with loss and isolation. When leaving behind a country of origin, an immigrant grieves the loss of connection, identity, belonging, trust, safety and security. And learns to grieve, cope, and accept in their new land. Recently I have lost three women who were meaningful to my life. One woman, a friend and colleague, inspired me with her work as a dedicated child trauma therapist and her love for nature and family, I was inspired by her peacefulness. One young moth

My father immigrated to the United States in 1969 from a small village in South India. He earned a scholarship to attend college, and was offered an opportunity to complete his PhD in the United States. His marriage to my mother was arranged, based upon one condition, she would only marry him if he agreed to not remain in the US. My mother had spent 8 years of her own childhood living in rural Pennsylvania as her father, my Tata, completed his PhD. She felt fearful of the experiences her minority children might suffer growing up in this country. But alas, my sister and I were born, and they made the courageous decision to remain in the US so their girls could have access to the educational opportunities in this country. They intentionally moved to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania to live near the SV temple, the first Hindu temple in the United States. This temple attracted many immigrants from India and had a growing community of traditional Hindus, all with hopes of finding a sense of conne

Autumn is my favorite season. The crunchy leaves and crisp cool air refresh my mind and body after a long, humid summer. I run through a beautiful trail enjoying the trees, the silence, only hearing the sounds of the flowing creek. This is a meaningful place of peace that I run through often. But today, I come to a stop, I am taken by the beauty of nature. Natural beauty in an untouched space. Among the various shades of greens and browns that spread for miles in all directions sits a bright yellow flower. A single stem. Shining yellow. In a vast green forest. I am surprised, then amazed, then inspired. Inspired to write. Why do I write? Why this blog? Why this title? Why now? I have asked myself the same questions. Writing is personal, writing is raw, writing is vulnerable, writing feels scary. But writing is a challenge, a challenge to be authentic, to be human, a challenge to sit with vulnerability, to challenge my fears, my doubts, my nagging thoughts of "what will people th